While sitting waiting for a delayed flight home the other day, it occurred to me that someone should develop a board or card game encapsulating the full airport experience in all its horror. There have been a few games based around flight operations or airlines, but nothing for the passengers. Players would compete to check their bags, get their boarding pass, battle through security and get to the gates.

On no! Your baggage is overweight, put on as many clothes as you can! You forgot a tube of cream in your hand luggage – go back to the beginning! Your flight is delayed, try to blag your way into a lounge! How many bottles of the local duty-free plonk can you carry? Eat some airport food and roll a die to see how ill you get! Your gate has changed, try to get to the other end of the terminal in time! And so on.

The winner is the person who manages to get into their seat on the correct plane, on time, with all their belongings and sanity intact. Personally, based on most of my airport experiences, I suspect it’s not a game I’d win very often!